THAILAND FLY ADVENTURES

"I dream’d in a dream I saw a city invincible To the attacks of the whole of the rest of The earth, I dream’d that was the city of New friends...."

Walt Whitman 1819-1892

  When my mind flickers in and out of the moment while my feet are warming near the fireplace often smells, sounds, voices from ancient places visited as a boy later as man vibrate. In China, the Forbidden City completely intoxicating dripping with historical significance both as a closed sacred place and host to many mysteries... Africa’s coast, Tangier’s, Morocco places where food and smells are intertwined like the adventures of your own fly reality. Singapore the Tiger Balm Gardens, sunsets bathed in gold! Cabo San Lucas absolute finest surf, ocean going fly fishing I have ever sampled hands down period. Japan anywhere in Japan, Vietnam Saigon up country or down. Love the whole coast of Vietnam. Deep In North America’s last big forested wild place central Alaska, sublime, unbelievable contact with what this world once was...

  My short list of mystical, surreal ancient places begins with Yosemite National Park in California and next would be anywhere in Thailand, high or low country, river or stream big city or small village. One need not be an adventurous type, fly fisher to grasp and savor Thai energy a dedicated methodical people who appear to go about their affairs as if they have been practicing for infinity? Most Thailand trips begin in Bangkok, perfect place to begin! Fine hotels, from expensive to quite modest. Restaurants best anywhere I have ever set foot including Paris France, Thai seafood dishes, soups, local sauces are divine! With the US Dollar climbing fast, Thailand is an excellent exotic fly fishing destination for solo or family oriented fly fishers. I want to say again as a very picky San Francisco food lover who knows how to saute baby! Thai food is on par with France easily...

  TRUE MULTI SPECIES FLY ACTION!

  Sad but true thanks to the Thailand governing body less then rigid controls exist in respect to enforcing laws keeping residents honest respecting rivers and water ways? One must travel deep into the interior to discover unmolested rivers with sustainable often transplanted game fish populations.This unfortunate lack of careful management is common throughout Asia. Rivers and streams are often thought of as giant food stores only, with little if any conservation allowances. Of course one need only consider the ongoing rape of Africa in line with the mid east natural resource lust to understand the priorities in developing countries, China for instance is dead set on destroying as many rivers as possible in the name of more electricity on the cheap....These facts of the international fly fisher learning curve are indisputable! We fly fishers are always standing knee deep in the precious resource soon to be coveted more then gold.... In my travels, Vietnam, Laos, Thailand, deep in ancient Asian, water conservation, habitat management are whispered never shouted... TRANSPLANTS APPEAR TO CO-EXIST?

  Species from Africa and beyond transplanted into Thai water ways with so far intriguing results. According to experts working Thai rivers many of the transplanted game fish are thriving and providing outstanding fly action. I have never heard of a fly venue featuring this variety of true fighting fish who prowl like serpents and in a few cases share serpent like physical characteristics. Intriguing fly action chasing Barramundi the much acclaimed Tail Walker! This fish ain’t giving up his aqua visa without going toe to toe cowboy, you looking for a fight big guy?. I have wrestled Asian carp that suddenly explode with love of freedom and rip rods out of hands! According to resident Thai fly fishing expert Capt Max Mackenzie Skues who has guided and written about Thailand fly action www.flyfishthailand.net.

  This game fish is the beast to reckon with period! Capt Max must navigate deep into interior waters where multi species appear to be finding a comfort zone within the rich soup that can host unlimited insect populations. In regard to absolute technique and experience in regard to Thailand fly action read any of Capt Max’ Thai Tales at www.rackelhanen.com. This fellow knows Thailand like Mr. Wolf knows Yosemite baby.... Among the many game fish featured Pacu. Amazon Red Tail Catfish are thriving and provide excellent fly action! It is common consensus both the international aquarium trade and indiscriminate introductions of foreign fish are the reason introduced species are so abundant? In my mind this aspect of Thai fly fishing along with a culture well honed by time make this international fly venue completely unique.

  THAILAND

  I have visited and worked waters near the Cambodian border region near Surin and many reaches of the Mekong River running near Udon Thani. It is the varied species and the ancient fern’s, vegetation and insects difficult for western man to easily grasp? Example many of the game fish are prehistoric looking and hunt their daily meals as carefully as any fly fisher I can remember. Fish named Java Barb and the Snakehead that have been witnessed actually walking from river to river! These aqua otherworldly snake/fish beasts must be seen to be believed. They move along the edges inches from the surface slowly with feelers, eyes, sensing waiting to strike... Watching them work water is like watching master fly fishers. These fish rarely experience fly fishers hunting them as they hunt countless insects, frogs, small birds anything living that hits the water is consumed.

  A trip to a place as far away as Thailand can be daunting to consider in the best of economic times... If you’re a dedicated fly fisher adventurer you understand the fast benefits of such an exotic fly venue! First a trip like this will change your life in this manner. The Thai weather alone sultry warm winds blowing especially near the coast or up country. The smells you have never encountered anywhere! The quality and abundance of fabulous Thai seafood, soups, sauces.. The Thai people warm, direct, passionate, lots of serious old world happiness to be enjoyed. A different kind of hospitality on tap, the way you smile and move, cadence of your wild ass Yankee speech patterns... In general the degree of humility and humbleness you emit is the key to peaceful Thai interaction. As a life long martial artist, Yoga lover, food lover who constantly searches for peace and balance in fly fishing and in life, Thailand has fed me since my teens. Thai kick boxing kicks ass. Thai life equals survival of the most balanced, love Thailand.

  HUNTING HUNTERS

  In my mind if one ventures into Thailand expecting to understand, comprehend this one fact! You we be attempting to fool fish who are every moment of their lives hunting insects, small mammal’s, baby birds, any possible energy source armed with the exact same stealthy, calm, centered instincts you brought with you sportsfan. Watching these natural predators carefully stalk their next meal humbles anyone who carries long rods on airplanes my friends... Respect for these ancient instincts and a well oiled casting arm are essential, no question. If your not a seasoned fly stealth hunter type? This kind of wild jungly drifting and wading can be a little tooo much to chew! One can easily find a willing boatman and guide anywhere near Bangkok. I would get in touch with Capt. Max first his knowledge base, time on the water and meticulous techniques make him the man if your Thailand bound with a long rod.... Dress light and consult you travel agent for advisories if other countries are on your itinerary.

"She lived unknown, and few could know
When Lucy ceases to be; But she is in her grave,
And, oh, The difference to me!"

William Wordsworth
1770-1850

As is often the twist in life our hero has attracted Chaos and her attendant’s Fate and Sister Blind Luck have arrived at Graceland. The ugly spector of female deeep rooted jealousy has unfortunately reared its perfectly peroxided head right in the middle of the last gala dinner with special guest and next ruler of the known universe Sarah (I love to hunt, shoot and eat Mooose balls!) Palin. Ms. Palin center of attention fielding a Hot Toddy (Snowmobilin Fool that he is- jealous as hell of course and the real shadow Alaskan Govonatress in disguise) cell call! It seems our Star 2nd and 3rd girl friends Mutha Superia and MGB Gold Monkey Blond have finnally had enough of each other, a rupture in the Salt Lake City arraignment was as expected as an Obama WhiteHouse.......... Of course mood enhanced by magic dust, thanks Keith.

  "Sooo GMB while we are on the subject of trust, fidelity, knowing one can trust your sweety under any conditions, those panties will stay on regardless of wine, hot tubs, too much money, fame or whatever rolls into your Bed & Breakfast.. I had a private dick run a 25 year search on you sweety! Very bad news I’m feared!"

  "Nice, I sorta expected something like this from you little miss I had a worthless ten dollar an hour husband, you two drank too much wine made a fine child and now basically put up with each other while you and your single girlfriends WERE out banging every hard on you can find hey Blondy. That’s why you ended up in the Nunnery, It was your families winery that went belly up after the California, world economy went dead. Ain’t that about the long and short of it sweety pie ! Lets not forget pathological lying, extream narcissism,, have we let anything out Ms. Two Faced. How many skin buses been through tuna town??"

Now both ultra hot Blonds are on their feet and fingers are inches from each others face as Fletcher Quill and the boys attempt to lighten the mood and stop the bomb!

  "Listen carefully you spoiled rotten little biooooch, you and that B&B of your’s, really a man trap sweety, right? I mean according to our investigation you been banging workmen, bag boys, punks with Ball Caps stringy hair rural type losers like their fast food! I mean really Bag Boys and your own son’s best pal. It gets worse much worse sweety. You had a great chance to marry a great guy and your slippery panties got in the way. Now days your banging your own doctors? Your running out of cum donater’s bleach bitch blond. Are their any breathing males within 100 miles of the mountain retreat you haven’t banged dear???"

  When The Lord Gets Ready You Got To Move

As calmly as the Sun falls into the western ocean Mutha Superia picks up her gold dinner fork and with perfect form as if in the inner sanctum of her mind she had practiced millions of times. Drives the fork into the center of Gold Monkey Blonds forehead just as GMB slashes the fallen Nun’s jugular vein with one of Quill’s antique 24 Kt. Gold Dinner Knifes. They both begin quickly fading, beautiful late fall rose’s quickly bleed to death within two minutes of frantic triage!

Quill, The Dali Lama, Glimmer Twin leap to their feet and begin every known heavy bleeding battle field triage they know, turnicuts, pressure on exploding arteries, an ugly useless attempt as both young woman are ashen colored, no pulse, forever at peace together.

  "Man, I cannot believe my friggin eyes Dudes! Call the Tennessee State and Local and our lawyers and send for all our support team. Thank god we had our new VVJJ’s FBI team witness the whole deal. Soo fellas as horrendous as this beastly act of mutual narsisitic/pathological liars/ canceling out each other. Lets rap up the clean up we have a jet Copter flight over the Atlantic which will be highlighted by use of the twin 25 foot jet Zodiac Ocean Fly Boats we will use to go after any schools of big fish we run into. Now then, gonna miss those two, loved them both. But, truth is they were classic # 10 plus spoiled rotten bitch blonds who rarely spoke the truth to me or anyone else. Mutha Serena’s gal pals remember her as a liar who invented almost her entire existence. Now poor GMB, she became more man then woman out in the sticks alone with only her sexiness to barter. Sad how she lost the sweet magic and gained a nice set of testicles. Gonna miss their ongoing lying blond bullshit. Soooooo lets have a little booster Keith before the fuzz get here and the long super downer begins before we chase the Moon boys......"

  "This dinner will be the absolute most interesting of my mortal life. To witness the mutual destruction of two young vital woman while out of my mind on magic dust how does one spiritually digest this Fletcher Quill?"

  "You more then any us understand here for a moment gone forever.... This mutual explosion was a complete shock, where the hell is 666 and all my little spirit people friends and Abbott Sammy. Please all of you appear now and help us sort this before the heat gets here. No one touch the bodies or leave the room. Call General Duke Parker and The Cowboy."

Let there pass a minute, ten, ten trillion; but the blaze is infinite, eternal, this is death,
To die and know it. This is the Black Widow, death..."

(Mr. Edwards and the Spider)
Robert Lowell, 1917-1977

Graceland looks just like it did when the King was found in his bathroom DOA. Copters hover while search lights scan the grounds, all phones are blasting and the door bell is ringing it is Detective Gary Hunter and his team come face to face with the legendary fly master and his famous guests. Staff have loaded the house stereo with soft early Beetle CD’s.

  "Fletcher Quill AKA Mr. Wolf, legendary fly fishing master, general, x sec interior, a pleasure to meet you Sir. Little dinner time surprise I gather? Has anything been moved, touched, anything?"

  "Whole ugly mutual homicide filmed by both house cameras and the FBI team taking care of Ms. Alaska also have film. Long and short my friend, a total shock we were all old dear friends helping me recuperate from my last shoot out. Come on lets go out on the patio and work this out."

  "How the hell did you swing E’s crib Quill, nobody ever gets to stay at Graceland."

"Long story, wait a minute are you the same Gary Hunter who fronted the legendary San Francisco Blues Band the " The Blues Hunters " in the early late 1960s with Mike Bloomfield and Johnny Winters? Can’t possibly be the same cat?"

  "Man, you remember my band Dude! That’s so historic its carved on motherfriggin cave ass walls son.... Dam, you used to play with John Lee Hooker when he did the Fillmore for Bill Graham. This is insane, we smoked the same smoke told the same jokes, heard those ever lovin Frisco Fog horns while wailing long into the North Beach night Baby.... Uh huh, you got the harp with you Quill, lets wrap this and head straight for south side Chicago my man. Remember how mean old Bloomfield could get with his, "Buried Alive in The Blues " or his " eel So Bad  tell me white boys can’t sing real low ass blues? Remember Humble Pie their run at the Fillmore was off the hook screaming, " ’m ready as anybody can be " r the classic, "I don’t need no Doctor..."

  "Hunter Dude, this mutual suicide thing will be food for international press Geeks for awhile son. These two sweet young thangs were both girlfriends of mine, both active in the sack and did not want another mule kicking in their stall. Now we ate the right chemistry to bring the latent hate up hot and fast and they exploded big time, it happened in less then 2 seconds, they were DOA in less then two minutes. Nothing could be done, nothing....."

  "Dam, thought I saw a bunch of tiny people flash under your chair Quill? Did you spike the good detectives water glass?"

  "No no, they are always around me. Its gonnna get weird detective. Better take a deep breath, lets bring in his high and I mean very high Holiness The Dali lama."

  "An honor to meet your Holiness. You were sitting at the dining table when the two woman exploded?"

  "Yes. My salad fork was inches from my mouth when poor sweet GMB was suddenly wearing her fork in the middle of her perfect forehead. To say I was astounded would be an understatement."
"After they both lunged at each other did anyone try and separate them?"

  "Yes, Fletcher, his friends all tried, no hope to save them. Before one could blink they were grey and still."

  "Ok, lets go back into the dinning room before Dr. Mike Fallon arrives our esteemed hippy medical examiner. This guy can see through steel walls, handled over 2000 homicides, he will trip on this crime scene buddy, unreal, surreal, have Sharon Stone get ready, she is next interview. Please have everyone return to their original seats."

  "Look at them.... Its as if they were butterflies hit by a train. Such stupid over kill. Why?"

  "This deal awfully complicated Hunter, pure jealousy my take. I pushed this Salt lake City dealy and they fell apart because they both wanted to hang with me. Guess I’m the perpetrator period Detective!"

  "Up until lately free will was still running America pal. These girls according to this computer readout coming in were both smart, hip, pretty woman. How the hell did they decide to hook up with you and your crew Quill, you ain’t exactly Mr. Family man dude?"

  "Before I forget Hunter you and your hot shot med exam boy better shuffle those autopsy results so the magic dust is undetectable ala lance Armstrong savvy? No question both of your retirements will be much more bountiful and rich comprende amigo?"

  "No problemo senior, we both have a Chi Town Frisco Blues background, how the hell can I lock up a famous war hero, Marine General, ya de yad when all my wealthy wall street investment Jewish friends are walking away from perhaps the biggest crime upon a nations people ever committed baby? They walked, you walk Quill, OJ walked the first time around, you walk Quill. Keep your ATM stash we will take care of you like we took care of Elvis all southern smoke and mirrors. Presto it’s a bazaar mutual cancellation worthy of prime time. This thing will be prime time for some time which means, Tv, movie, book rights. Dam, I’m fat feeling richer by the moment. I’ll take care of my man Dr. Fallon."

In strolls the notorious medical examiner dressed in his usual loud ass Hawaiian shorts with a expertly rolled joint stuffed in side of his two day bearded grey head....

  "Hunter, what the fu-k is this little mess we have here. These two birds look like they caught the wrong end of old Cupids arrow hey boys. Ok, whose bopping who give me the layout before I put the gloves on."

  "When the Lord gets ready, you gotta move! - A time for tears?