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Updated 2009-08-01 Swedish version |
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Updated 2009-08-01 Swedish version |
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| Column nr. 8 2009 | |
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"I’ll have them fly
to India for gold, This August summer 2009 column is dedicated to all the sedentary, slovenly, city limit fly fishers world over. You know who you are, don’t you! I’m going to rattle your cages dreamers with a reality flash! I have a suggestion, instead of watching that 1000 inch plasma baby sitter and wondering why your pants no longer fit? Perhaps a little change might do you good? Misty Dhillon fly fishing guide, naturalist, lover of all things that swim in the remote Himalayan wilderness would like to make your acquaintance my friend.
Once you land at the New Delhi Airport be prepared to be mesmerized, sultry colors, spicy foods, people from all over the planet seem to be everywhere! You are in modern India truly sensory overload... Misty will meet you and his smile and able fellow guides escort you out of town and into remote Himalayan river drainage where Tigers and elephants are often seen. Fly fishing is mostly drifting and experiencing exotic birds and animals until the explosive strike of perhaps the hardest fighting fresh water game fish known! The mighty Mahseer which can top 70lbs indigenous will take you to school no question. Misty’s clients speak of magical moments when these fighters who rarely encounter humans take off on 100 yard runs and then do it again. Fly reels screaming, smoking as wet line explodes! These fish require muscle and talent to land. Trout species like Browns exist as does another worthy adversary the giant catfish known as Gooch that can reach 400lbs. These surreal cats have teeth and will give you a work out as well. In short dreamers, this place is real affordable and very necessary to your international fly fishing resume".
Those naturalist fly fishers who understand the horrific fact few wild tigers are left in this world can relish in the possibility of seeing this magnificent beast in its own world. Misty can’t swear every client will see a tiger, they are seen several times a year. Ruth Padel has written a fine book "Tigers In Red Weather" published by Walker & Company New York. This fly adventure has everything going for it one can imagine. Exotic hard fighting wild fish who hit flies like freight trains. Excellent indigenous Indian Cuisine and seasoned guides who will put you on fish no question! Sooo my rapidly expanding waistline, city limits loving one or twice a year fly dreamer. Here it is plain and simple, why not change your predictable fly fishing mind set. Stretch out take in a new old world country and have your self a real fly adventures before its too late? Contact Misty at www.himalayanoutback.com Tell him Mr. Wolf sent you Pilgrim....
WOLF MOSQUITO Hook: #12 / #16 * If this pattern is tied correctly and worked so movement dominates you WILL catch fish!
"ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL" "All that we see or seem is but a dream Within a
dream... Its 2am Washington time screaming down Pennsylvania Ave. Three blocks from the Blackhouse new headquarters of the Black Masiah from Chicago a long limo trying despertly to contain three old school rockers. High and high strung lead players dead & alive are suddenly surrounded by Secret Service. Keith Richards (Glimmer Twin) Slash (GNR - Velvet Pistol) and his supream lowness with the largest testicular circumference of alll long deceased Bonn Scott’s (ACDC) spirits are argueing, laughing, jiving, singing, and composing a little ditty for their fallen brother The King Of Perverts............... The occassion is our hero Fletcher Quill & his new squeeze Nurse Caron’s welcoming Dinner Gala in preperation for the grueling (for whom exactly?) Senate Supream Court Confirmation hearings which begin in three days. Quill has been suspiciously absent from the festivies as the three rock stars arrive........ (Background music "Exile On Main St." Stones classic CD) "Keith Dude what the hell has Quill got us into this time? He told me to bring the special coolaid that Jerry Garcia and Bear put together under the moon light uh huh..... Now then lets write a little thang to sang about our fallen Child Molester number one. I’ll kick it with this .... "He was always wearing his glove sha boom, even when little boys were in his room sha boom-He don’t like no silly girls with sweet curls- Just like them little boys in corduroy um bop a do un bop a dew ba dew bowwwww- Um bop a dew ummmmm????" "Look here you and Bonn are so fucking wasted only Mr. Guitar Slashmeister can find the groove vein on groove mountain....." Billy Jean ain’t my girl- Billy Jean don’t rock my world- Give me 7/8/9 anytime maybe 10 is pushing it those cub scouts get big fast - gotta have some baby boy ass... Oh yeah now I found the rhyme my brothers. You ready lets thread this together before we get Quill and the Chief into Garcia’s Orbit, Oh yeah, Gotta have some baby boy ass, Oh yeah...... MJ was sick period, Never Never Ranch was like the Frisco Mitchel Bros Porn Palace for 7/8/9 year old victums and their complacent well paid parents...." "Man, all that hysteria was cool for me Mate’s, MJ had the talent, was isolated like Elvis." "Bonn, wait till you hear how good Quill has gotten on his Hohner Blues Harp!" As the limo with SS escort pulls into the welcome portical area, no question the Blackhouse be rocking hard and loud. Albert Collin’s (DOA) Master of the Telecaster is recreating his killer "Live In Japan" CD he cut with his old band The Icebreakers... he almost finished with his seminal signature "Tired Man" Then rollin intro his old Buddy T.Bone Walkers "Stormy Monday"..... The BlackHouse all white southern cracker staff are waiting and lead the rocker boys streight to the patio area where much commotion has Secret Service more nervous then Ophra at the Texas Barbecue Festival.... It appears our fly master hippy is waist deep in his fly fishing waders and nothing else terrorizing the girls new Koi Fish Pond residents with his tried and true Yellow leach pattern... must be the cool aid indeed!!!!! Its 2am....... "General Quill explain your self Sir? This was my daughters Koi Pond. Nice Bamboo fly rod General lets get you out of there and into warm clothes your rocker buds are here Frisco fly man... Glad I had lady M and the brats scramola, they would not understand this aging hippy weirdness. Sir these are domesticated art fish, not Atlantic Salmon you fool!! That old GraeFul dead Hippy Pat leahey might buy this as par for your course? I know that bitch Feinstien will eat your lunch and so will whats his name that cracker with the mouth and the girls name Linsey Grahm , that name sounds more like an LA Pole Dancer don’t it Man, why did I nominate this west coast hippy- Any cell phone cameras go off here boys?" "Keith, Bonn, Slash empty 5000,000,000,000 mikes of the finest purple Ozley LSD into the BlackHouse kitchen dinner entree’s, punch bowl and deserts. It is now only a matter of half an hour until the roof slowly begins to lift off as 1967 creeps under the big double door’s.. Albert Collins just wrapped up his off the hook set as Slash, Keith, Bonn Scott take the stage and blast off with the Stones " Exile On Mainstreet" "Tumbling Dice " Slash goes crazy and holds notes longer then Bill Clinton’s list of known lies....... One hour later here comes the Frisco Blues harp Playing General honking on another Stones classic " Ventilator Blues "..... 2 hours later Quill (On his shiny new Hohner Blues harp Key C) is running the old Almond Brothers hit "Its Not My Cross To Bear " straight into "Whipping Post" finishing his solid set with an extended "One Way out". "Fate. Time, Occasion, Chance, Sounds of San Francisco Cable Car Bells mixed with early Dead Bootleg wailing " Casey Jones " The Black Messiah sniffs Haight St. Pachouli oil and fresh sour dough bread. It is He, the all knowing Hippy version of the Psychic Dali Lama (Sorry # 14- this is a surreal fiction Dude?) ladies and Gents Jerry Garcia...... "Man The White, I mean the Black House how cool is this. Would have cut off another finger to have all me homies in on this parta’ ola’... Now then as the Purple mind binder begins its shuffle of all your realties, colors, dreams, sounds, lies,... No more Bullshitting each other this evening kids. Oh yeah check this your Black Majesty, your hip to Quill being your senior Pally. CAPTAIN TRIPS He has been world famous longer and stronger and more notorious and glorious in his surrealistic life style, Fly Master, General, Hell raiser. Love him fly fishing in the brats pond, very Frisco whacked behavior. Ok, Keith, Bonn, Slash Man, love the tribute to the King OF Perverts. Only his old man Joe is more repulsive making money on his pervert son’s death. What a shame the planet lost 112 pounds of pure hell bound psycho pervert! Rock on me brothers and treat our number one home dawg Quilly right... Elvis has a new friend who can really speak phamacology.........." "General Quill, Sir if this Koi Pond thing gets out you are done as my Supreme Court pick!" "Relax Bamster I’ll get over bigger then Yoko Ono and her resurrected Plastic Ono Band last week, old bag can still wiggle it Cowboy I mean Chi Town hustler. Man that King Of Perverts tune is catchy huh? Look at those vivid loud colors Dude? "Did you or your boys spike the punch General? Suddenly I’m recalling all absolute lies I told to get elected, like this one. Yes we can fix our international image (hide all photos of torture nasty stuff like that!) Yes I can cherry pick who survives and who dies in the car biz, bank biz, and biz I see’s fit cause I’m the Black Messiah Bop a Do Bop a Do ba Bow Baby...... Now where was I in the Yes we can, Yes I can dialogues??? How about we have all of Jerry’s kids, all the short bus kids (mentally challenged?) all the washed up felons and all the looser’s that can’t find jobs and have them plant tree’s, build roads, general clean up kinda thing! Yes we can use this resource as we are now organizing the millions of homeless former Medical Specialists now living in empty hospital beds. Yes we will put these pathetic over educated to work managing the legions of looser’s working on tree planting and such! YES WE CAN!!!!!!! Motherhumper Yes we can......" "Love the way you kissed Putin’s boys ass and strolled through Sarpussies Paris like Italy’s Belliscouni (70 + ?) at a sweet 16 party. Then its back home and cover up and hide from the last crews dark side agenda.. You are the Black Masiah. " Where is my new Queen Nurse Caron?" "Quilly where have you been sweety? Just off the cell with our wayward Nurse Jerry back on the farm... He has cooked his knife collecting goose this time for sure. I have to fly back and testify on his behalf. He was trying to get his addiction under control when they found him with a video camera under the nurses private freight elevator! He had been shooting his upskirt video’s and selling them to his third world cart pushing buddies who roamed the hospital halls emtying cans and bins. They sent many to U Tube and all the socal network web sights which is how he was caught. Really gonna miss you Quilly.." "Oh I forgot to tell you that American Radio Phenom whats his name Jim Ferguson honchos that "Great American Outdoor Trail Radio Magazine" He runs that awsome www.outdoortrailsnetwork . Man has 4/5 million loyal fans and he is throwing down a challenge Mr. Fly Master! He called and told me to tell you he didn’t think you could fool or catch a trout in a bath tub with a submarine and sonar! He wants a fly fishing show down Frisco Hippy! Jimmy says his show will feature a one on one mono mono waist deep in wild river and see who knows and who don’t flyman? He was laughing and said he knew you would want to streighten this out pronto! I really like this guy, he ain’t backing down from you maiestro fly master!" "Jimmy F. Oh boy love that smack talking mid west throw down. Lets invite Mr. Outdoor Radio on a wild ass fly adventure, maybe Grand Canyon in canoe or nice New England chalkstream. He will come in handy when I go for Supream Court Confirmation next week! Come here Nurse Caron sweety let pervert Jerry swing from the Farm’s yard arm and get in my lap while the cool aid is cold my temptress. Ok Jimmy lets play,Ok......." Who is this Mr. Radio Dude? Supream Court Confirmation Coming Up Baby !!!
Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Written by Dan Fallon © 2009 For Dan Fallon's earlier
and later columns;
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