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Updated 2010-10-31 Swedish version |
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Updated 2010-10-31 Swedish version |
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| Column nr. 11 2010 | |
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Dream Catchers Mahogani Lady
Hook: # 2 - #10 Barbless * Bright orange collar is serious fish magnet.
Sweet Serena
Hook: #2 - #10 Barbless *This fly dedicated to my best friend.
Episode 100!
"ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL" "The present is the funeral of The past. It has been a vacation the young boy president will never forget! Newly minted Socialist States Of America El Presidente’ the Black Messiah, General Duke Parker, a contingent of sorta cute Secret Service chicks who fly fish and Supreme Court Justice Fletcher Quill have been living the sublime fly fisher existence deep in Yosemite National Park’s north end Lake Benson. San Francisco Super Detective (Hardball) Gary Hunter has been the g0-between for a clandestine secret meeting with North Korea’s insane terrible haircut wearing Kimmy (I got Bang-Bang Nukes!!!!) Jung Illy. After several days of unbridled consumption of copious quantities of Graftganistani Hashish and San Francisco LSD. Internationally respected HD Radio Host Jimmy Ferguson is about to do an exclusive satellite hook up interview with Kimmy, the boys and the Secret Service chicks are just about to start munching on the Almond Brandy Trout sizzzling on the grill.... Two shooting star’s flash across the black night Yosemite sky. Secret Service vixen’s set up the digital HD Radio speakers. HD Radio Makes History!!! "Howdy to the trillions of www.outdoorsnetwork.net fan’s across the HD Radio Universe from deepest Africa to the wild ass south side of Chicago do I have a show for you tonight! Live and direct from a remote Yosemite National Park fly fishing camp we are Kansas city thrilled to Interview the much beloved psychopathic leader of North Korea. Kimmy Jungy Illy as his new best friend Supreme Court Justice Fletcher Quill likes to call him. Ain’t that bout it your majesty?" "Oh yes, we have heard your pathetic dying empire outdoor broadcasts featuring snake charmers, has been sports hero’s and looser old man fly fishers. Is it true you spend all your time barbecuing sausages Mr. HD Radio." "Man, did I say welcome to the show yet? I’m bad. Now that were already firing away here. Tell me how much of my famous Kansas City Flaming Tonsils Barbecue Sauce would you trade me for your Puppy Dog, Kitty Cat Mushroom Saute’ recipe?" "Nutrition is name of game when you have unlimited wild dog burgers cruising in large packs. We don’t have Mc Donalds or Jack ass in the Box Radio man. Tell me do you do drugs like Quill and his crew?" "My drug is the outdoors Kimmy. Has Fletcher introduced you to his little invisible friends yet? Or old 666 or any of his special friends? Did you know 666 Aleister Crowley briefly lived in Cairo when you went to school there in the 1960s?" "Oh yes, we smoke huge giant spliffs and watch Capt. Kangaroo all day eating boxes of cereal, best memories for beloved leader, yes, yes." "Ok then Kimmy, who else have you done drugs with along the way Mr. Soup Bowl page boy haircut?" "All your X Presidents except Jimmy Carter the only fucking real President your dying pile of once half ass interesting dog shit empire had since Kennedy. Bubba he was King Bad dawg killer supertrainwreckinyoufaceinyourbrainpoliomuthafucka gunga Baby!! Bubba and that ball & chain Bitch with the huge rear end. She stood up at state dinner and I lost my teabags and the lights went out!" "Dam Kimmy, lighten up on the tighten up five foot two bad hair doooo! Are you aware those two old Marines have personally killed so many of your yellow brothers, a small city could be fully stocked with Marine mortal stamped souls who messed with the best and died like the rest my little rice munching Pricktator." "Yes, no question especially the 17 year old General Quill. We know he routinely disobeyed orders and he and his worthless imperial war dogs killed just for the fun of it. We of course still kicked your ass in Korea circa early 1950s and may go toe to toe again hey General Quill sitting by the fire with his solid gold Bong and a perpetual smile. "The true medicated aging warrior in repose like Dante in the fires or Asssyllabus in Hell or Crowley in Africa or Rambau Butt Fucking your Momma hey General Duke Parker?" General Duke Parker before either the Secret Service Bitches or Fletcher Quill can stop him has drawn his Marine service colt 45 automatic cocked it and aimed it at the temple of the tiny PRICKTATOR AND IT IS ON!!!!! "Listen carefully motherfucker, say goodby Bitch!" Suddenly the fire camp fire glows bright and the spirit of the most famous of all living or dead Marines, Chesty Puller appears and puts his hand between the 45 Pistol and the North Korean leader. "Ok boys, that’s about as close we need to get to throwing Nukes. Highly medicated old warriors not good thing hey boys. Duke Parker you old horse fucker, how’s it hanging Jar head? Now ease off that fucking hair trigger and lets take a walk son." Six of Kimmy’s own personal bad boys unlock their tiny machine guns and the party gets back to Fighting for It’s Right To Party Bitch (Thank you Beasty Boys). "Ok Mr. Pricktator with a Barbecue grill sizzlin Golden Retriever Puppies. Thanks for the exclusive interview and Supreme Court Justice Quill my Dear friend eternally indebted Cowboy. See you boys on the trail. God speed my brothers. "This is Jim Ferguson live from Yosemite National Park remember every day is a Barbecue on the www.outdoortrailsnetwork.net" It’s 4am the trout are starting to feed and jump all over the lake. Quill and the Secret Service chicks start throwing chartreuse Wolly Buggers looking for the resident fat Brown Trout. The Black Messiah is trying to calm down the rattled Kimmy Jungy Illy now fully medicated with San Francisco LSD and singing harmony as the gang begins a medley of Grateful Dead classics starting with "TRUCKING" (Next stop Supreme Court or Play time almost over Cowboy!)
Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Written by Dan Fallon © 2010 For Dan Fallon's earlier
and later columns;
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